


Moments of Strange Mercy

by xxmidnightmoonlight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Does This Count as Soft?, F/M, Gift Fic, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lactation Kink, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Baby, Self-Reflection, Shameless Smut, What Have I Done, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 06:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17401664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxmidnightmoonlight/pseuds/xxmidnightmoonlight
Summary: Kylo and Rey navigate new changes in their lives both inside and outside of the bedroom.Or alternatively, how I wrote 4,000+ words of pregnancy/lactation kink smut, YEET.





	Moments of Strange Mercy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Riri19911](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riri19911/gifts).



> Prompt fill for Riri ♥  
> A million thanks to [Skyler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings/pseuds/theselittlethings) for beta-ing this trash heap ilysm ♥

She’s sure she can pinpoint the moment it happened.

It wasn’t the result of the sweeping passion of a momentous affair, like the day the war ended or the night of their wedding. Neither was it the product of the ways they sometimes explored their darker desires, like the time Kylo fucked her needy cunt with nothing but her tabard wraps, using them to bind her arms and mercilessly drill her from behind until they were drenched with her come. Nor any of the times she begged him not to stop when he fingered her ass while she rode his thick cock, milking him of every drop of his spend until she was shaking with the intensity of her own release.

No, she’s sure it occurred on one of the many mornings she’s woken up like this, spooned in his embrace in the bedroom of their shared apartment on Chandrila. Mornings where, under the traces of soft light beginning to spill in from the curtains of their window, she lies there in wonder (yet again) about how much her life has changed— how it’s taken a direction she never could have dreamed of in the uncomfortable makeshift bed of her old AT-AT on Jakku.

Laying there in Kylo’s embrace, she doesn’t have to worry about how she’s going to scrounge up her next meal or securing a roof over her head. There are still enough hours left after a long day’s work to fancy entertaining new hobbies, to be idle, and to seek out her own pleasure— to hope and to dream.  
  
On mornings like these, Kylo rustles beside her and she feels the stiffness of his hard or half-hard cock pressed against her backside. He tightens his hold around her waist and smoothes away the stray strands of hair that fall across her cheek— a prelude to the lazy lovemaking that is soon to inevitably follow.

This is what she thinks of when the medic confirms her pregnancy, when she marvels at the shape of her growing stomach in the mirror, and when she feels their baby’s first kick.  
  
This is what she thinks of now as Kylo’s eyes rake over her body, measuring and admiring each new curve and swell with pride and lust in his eyes.

»»———-  -———««

His wife is beautiful. She always has been. Now carrying his child in her belly, she absolutely glows. He doesn’t mind when Rey catches him openly staring at her.

Kylo muses over how, at first, she seemed unusually nervous to display herself to him like this, as if she were trying to gauge how he might react to the subtle and unsubtle changes in her body she still felt so unused to herself.

During the first months of lethargy and morning sickness, followed by an unexpected but welcomed boost in her libido, he made it his mission to reassure her— in whatever capacity he could— that he was just as enraptured with her as he’d been the first time he saw her. Especially now that Rey, his scavenger and his desert rose, had come into full bloom.

This is how he finds himself sitting on his knees in their bedroom, gazing up from between the legs of the goddess perched on the mattress before him, the reward and taste of her delicious spend glistening on his lips after she’s bestowed him the privilege of worshipping her sweet cunt.

It isn’t until he sees a small wince of discomfort flash across her face that he’s shaken from his reverie.  
  
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” His brow furrows with worry. “Is something wrong?”  
  
“Nothing at all.” She brings a hand up to rub small circles over the roundness of her belly and smiles. “Just your daughter kicking around in here.”

Kylo can feel the lifeforce signature of their baby’s energy, but he can’t even begin to imagine all of the things his wife must feel on a daily basis.

“Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes the stronger ones do. I have no doubt she’s going to be a strong fighter just like her daddy,” she teases.

“Or like her mother,” he adds, returning her smile.  
  
They’ve both teased each other about what it’ll be like if she gives birth to a boy or a girl, but it’s the first time he’s heard Rey refer to their child specifically by one or the other.  
  
Kylo wonders if perhaps she’s seen a vision of the Force. He’ll ask her about it later. For now he decides to set his curiosity aside and just bask in the moment, laying his hand against Rey’s stomach to see if he can feel the baby too.  
  
A minute passes with both of them sitting completely still before a flutter of movement underneath Kylo’s palm catches him off-guard. Rey lets out a soft chuckle.  
  
“It looks like someone’s a little restless tonight.”  
  
“Hmm,” he responds as he rises up to plant a kiss upon her nose. “Then let’s calm her with a lullaby.”   
  
Rey raises an eyebrow at the suggestion before flashing him an amused grin. Then she inquires with a laugh, “Are you planning to serenade us, love?”  
  
“Perhaps another night,” he rejoins with a smirk. “I’ve got something much better in mind.”  
  
Kylo guides her body until she’s kneeling on the bed on all fours, facing the headboard. He brings a hand up to squeeze the flesh of her ass cheek while he strokes himself with his other until he’s fully hard again. Then he uses both hands to spread her open, running his length along the seam of her folds.   
  
“Please...” she moans, and Kylo is quick to placate her by nudging his cock against her entrance before slowly letting it sink inside of her.  
  
He draws the length of it in and out, rocking her gently with each thrust. Her tits bounce each time her hips meet his, and he keeps his grip on one of Rey’s hips as he lets the other wander across her body, still enjoying the new shape and weight of her breasts as he fondles them.  
  
His hand trails downward to feel the swell of her belly and the thought of how big she’s gotten, combined with the way the tip of his cock drags along her walls, causes a groan to escape his lips. There are no words to describe how amazing Rey feels around him every single time, like they were both made for nothing but this.  
  
Rey’s cunt clenches as she maneuvers to meet each of slide of his cock sinking into her depths, arching her back to push herself as flush against him as she possibly can. Kylo can tell it won’t take much more for her to come now.   
  
_Please, please, please..._ he hears her begs him through their bond as she lets out a frustrated moan.  
  
_You own my heart, you carry my child, you have my cock inside of you, and yet it’s still not enough?_ he chides her, refusing to move any faster.  
  
“I, ah - I n- need...!” she stammers.  
  
“Is this what you need?” He slides his hand from her hip and in between her parted legs, splaying his fingers above her mound as he lets a digit drag across her clit.  
  
“Ah, ah, Ben...!” she gasps out, her breathing staggered as he continues to rub the sensitive bundle of nerves there, until he can feel how close she is by the way her breathing turns into labored pants.  
  
_That’s it_ , he urges her through their bond.   
  
He loves her for her strength, her determination, and the way she’s always been ready to challenge and meet him—he always has. But it’s in those moments where she lets all of her walls fall down, trusting him at her most intimate and vulnerable points, that he loves her most.  
  
“Let go, Rey.” He rocks in and out of her. _Come for me._  
  
He gives one last push inside her as he flicks her clit, and her head turns just enough for him to get a glimpse of her face, to see how her lips part in a silent cry as she finally gives in to her release. He doesn’t need to look down to know she’s made an absolute mess on his hand. Something between a groan and a growl rises in his throat as her walls clamp down around him, and he struggles not to lose it right then and there as he helps her ride her climax out.  
  
_You’re so beautiful like this, so beautiful for me_ , he murmurs to her as her body eventually goes slack beneath him. He curls an arm around the underside of her breasts to support her while he continues to thrust inside her spent body.  
  
He focuses again on how completely full she is— the heavy swell of her chest, the dip of her belly, how well she’s taking all of him, and the sated look on her face. It’s not long before the satisfaction of it all pushes him over edge to join her, claiming even more of her as he fills her from the inside.  
  
_Mine,_ he sighs as he collapses beside her as the warmth of their bond radiates around them.  
  
_Mine,_ she reaches out to caress his cheek as she stares at him with loving, hazel eyes.  
  
They stay there in the lingering aftermath for however many minutes until Rey guides his hand to her stomach again.

“It looks like she’s asleep now,” she tells him with a knowing smile.

Right now she looks so content, so happy, that he can sense the brilliance of her light in the Force, and he can’t think of a greater happiness than knowing he’s the cause for it.

“So it’s she now, is it..?” he asks her curiously with a raised brow.  
  
Rey only nods back, followed by a yawn, and Kylo smiles, stealing a few more seconds to gaze down at her before moving off the bed to fetch a warm washcloth.  
  
After he’s finished cleaning her off, he lightly massages her feet until he hears her breathing even out, then settles in beside her, pulling the covers over them both as he waits for sleep to overtake him as well.  
  
For years he was scared to close his eyes, afraid of what nightmares his unconscious would unleash at night. He’s not afraid to sleep anymore, however—not with Rey, and now their daughter, beside him.

»»———-  -———««

The birth of their daughter is an easy one, at least according to midwives that attend to her as she goes into labor.

 _There’s nothing easy about pushing what feels like a horned melon out of a hole the size of a jogan fruit_ , she thinks with a grumble, but at least Kylo is there and never leaves her side.

He stands watch over Rey attentively, silently gritting his teeth each time a wave of pain has her crushing his hand in her grip, all the while offering his best attempt at a sympathetic smile as she practically yells at him through their bond.

_You did this, you big nerfherder! Are you pleased with yourself now?_

Considering the death-like vice she has on him, and the Skywalker family legacy of losing a hand, Kylo knows better than to answer truthfully. If looks could kill he would definitely be a dead man from the way she’s glaring at him now, with eyes even wilder than that first time he saw her in the forest.  
  
The instant Rey gives her final push and their baby’s first cries fill the room, Kylo leans his head down and gives her a gentle kiss, squeezing her hand back.  
  
“Congratulations, it’s a beautiful baby girl!” he hears one of the attendants say, and his lips curve into smile against her forehead.

For the next few moments they stay like that, lost in the moment and each other, until one of the midwives loudly clears her throat. Kylo and Rey both look up to greet their daughter face-to-face for the first time, now cleaned and swaddled in a blanket and waiting to be held.  
  
Kylo has never been prouder of anything more than the tiny bundle in Rey’s arms right now. All of his life he’s heard voices, in awe or in fear of the destruction he could be capable of— from Snoke, from his parents, from Luke. And though he may never be of the light, not truly, this child is the purest thing he’s ever created— they’ve created— so innocent and untarnished by his past deeds. Maybe the only thing of his that ever will be, he thinks, unless Rey and the Force decide to bless him with another child someday.

»»———-  -———««

For a week after their daughter’s birth, the midwives stay to attend to Rey and give her a crash course on motherhood while she recovers. They help with everyday chores while she works on getting the hang of changing diapers, understanding the cries her daughter makes, breastfeeding, and finding time to sleep between the irregular intervals she isn’t busy feeding or comforting her.

At last when she’s left to figure out the rest for herself, Kylo tries to be as available and supportive as he can. He fetches her anything she needs and takes the baby whenever she asks, but in those first few weeks that follow, even with their bond, it’s difficult for him to anticipate what she needs without her spelling it out firstand she’s exhausted beyond words.

Numerous times she wishes Leia were still alive so she would have someone to put on a brave face for her and to guide her through these new challenges. Rey imagines Leia would always know exactly what to do.

But Leia isn’t here, and even though she hardly thinks of the family that abandoned her now, she at least wishes she had a mother of her own to see her through this. She loves their daughter and she loves being a mother, but sometimes just carrying so many feelings inside of her, all by herself, is so overwhelming.

All she can do is take each day one step at a time, thankful that Kylo is there to help her through all of her fatigue and her tears. It’s enough, she calms herself, knowing how grateful he is for their daughter and that he believes in her strength. Every morning when she wakes up she reminds herself that she can do this— if not for herself and the baby, then for him.

Their daughter feeds at such irregular hours that it’s easier for her to sleep with them in their bedroom, either beside or between them in bed or in her bassinet nearby.

She's a curious thing, with a full head of dark brown hair and blue eyes, but beyond that Rey’s unsure which one of them she takes after more. She’s often stubborn and fussy, especially when it’s feeding time, sometimes refusing to latch correctly or drink as much as she’s told babies normally do in one sitting. The midwife she seeks out doesn’t seem very surprised when Rey comes to her with a painful blocked milk duct in one breast and advises her to express any leftover milk.  
  
This is how Kylo finds her in the ‘fresher one night after she’s put their daughter to bed— hunched over the sink with the straps of her sleeping gown pulled down and her tits out, using one hand to coax out the extra milk.  
  
“Do you mind?” he asks before stepping inside, and she shakes her head.  
  
Kylo has seen her breastfeed any number of times and seems unphased by the sight as walks into the small room, turning his back to her to relieve himself. After he flushes he moves beside her to wash his hands, watching as the trickle of water from the tap mixes with her milk gathered in the basin before disappearing down the drain.  
  
“Is everything alright?” Kylo asks as he turns the water off and dries his hands.  
  
“Yes - Well, actually no,” she finishes with a sigh. “It just takes so long to get it all out, and I’m already so exhausted.”  
  
“Oh,” he responds, considering for a moment. “Would you like me to help?” ~~~~  
  
“Help? Like how?” Rey questions automatically before her imagination has time to catch up. A few seconds later, a faint blush rises to her cheeks.  
  
“Oh...” she exhales softy.  
  
“If the idea makes you feel uncomfortable, then forget it,” he says, easily brushing the idea away.” I just thought - Nevermind.” He turns to step away and give her some of her privacy back, without finishing the thought.  
  
“Ben, wait -” Her voice is unsure as she hesitates to call him back. “It... It might be worth a try. Um, you know, if you really don’t mind, that is...”  
  
He bends his head to kiss her on the cheek. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”  
  
She nods at the reassurance, stopping to consider how this is going to work with the large mountain of a man next to her.

“Maybe it would be easier if we do it in the living room, then.”  
  
Kylo lets Rey lead the way out of the ‘fresher and into the other room. She folds her legs and takes a seat on the far side of the sofa, pausing to think for a second before motioning for him to kneel in front of her. He quickly obliges, bringing his hands to rest on top of her knees.  
  
She cups one breast, holding it out, and he angles his head to take it into his mouth. Rey watches his face with interest as he starts to suck, his expression indiscernible. A few seconds later he stills and latches off of her, and Rey begins to worry that maybe this wasn’t a very good idea.  
  
“Is this too much? It’s okay... You can tell me,” she hesitates.  
  
“No, it’s fine,” he recovers quickly, shaking his head. “I just wasn’t expecting it to taste so sweet; that’s all.”  
  
As if trying to quell any of her doubts about it, Kylo brings her nipple back to his mouth again. His soft lips feel nice on her skin, and he’s considerate not to put too much pressure on her.  
  
She finally lets herself relax, one hand at her side while the other caresses the side of her breast. Kylo shifts one arm to her shoulder to pull her closer to him, lazily massaging her shoulder and her back as he continues to drink from her.

The longer he sucks at her, the more Rey starts to feel the familiar tingle of arousal begin to take over her body. _This isn’t supposed to feel this good_ , she tries to reason with herself, her thoughts turning muddled and conflicted.  
  
She and Kylo haven’t had sex since the baby, but Rey knows that while she’s been recovering he’s been taking matters into his own hands, quite literally, when she’s not around.  As her heartbeat quickens and she feels heat pulling at her center, she tells herself that this is likely just a side effect of their recent lack of intimacy.  
  
If Kylo notices any strangeness to her demeanor, he pretends that he doesn’t.

Her other hand involuntarily leaves her side to rest on his shoulder, like she’s trying to steady herself against him, and Kylo gently moves to replace the hand on her breast with his own, giving it a few gentle squeezes.

Combined with the way his mouth keeps working her oversensitive nipple, it’s enough to make Rey suddenly gasp out loud. Kylo stops for moment to look up at her.  
  
“Am I doing it wrong?” he asks, and the rumble of his voice and his hot breath against her nipples makes her point her toes as a shiver runs down her spine.

 ~~~~“Maybe it would better if... if you were to lie down.”  
  
Rey tries to make the words come out as evenlyas possible. Even if she’s accepted that her body is only reacting to how she normally feels when he lavishes her breasts with attention, something about it makes her feel dirty.  
  
But regardless Rey needs to get rid of her milk and it’s much easier with him helping her, so she does her best to hide her how turned on she’s getting from having him suckle her like this.  
  
Kylo rises and moves to sprawl across the sofa, lifting his head above her lap. It can’t be the most comfortable position, but if he’s bothered by it he doesn’t complain. Rey cradles her arm behind his head to help take some of the pressure off his neck, and offers him her other breast.

»»———-  -———««

Kylo is struggling to think of anything to take his mind off of how good she tastes and the growing ache between his legs. He’s supposed to be attending to her needs and not thinking of his own,he admonishes himself, but his dick isn’t listening and he has to fight the urge to touch himself and relieve some of the pressure.

Feeling compromised beneath her, he tries his best to make due with fondling the breast that’s in his mouth, stealing glances up at her face. Her eyes are closed and she looks oddly blissed out, like it’s actually helping.  
  
_That’s good_ , he thinks. He wants her to feel good. She deserves to relax.  
  
He feels Rey card her fingers through his hair, and the sensation overwhelms to the point he doesn’t realize he’s sucking harder— not until she cries out and pulls at his scalp, causing him to respond with a low moan.  
  
“I’m - I’m sorry,” he gasps around her nipple, practically breathless.  
  
His face and ears are flushed, and her eyes travel over the reddened skin down his along his neck and the expanse of his chest, downward, until oh— she notices the hardness between his legs making a tent in the loose-fitting pair of black pants he always wears at home.  
  
“I - We haven’t...” he begins, but feels too ashamed with himself to speak the rest of it aloud.

 _I can’t help wanting you, even like this... Not being able to touch you, to be inside you these past weeks... I know it’s selfish to feel this way, especially_ _when -_  
  
“It’s okay,” she interrupts him. _There’s no need to explain._  
  
She’s smiling down at him. _I’ll help you._

Rey’s hand grazes along the solid plane of his chest, down toward his stomach, and still lower until she cups the hard bulge in his pants. Kylo hisses at the contact.

She then pulls down the waistband of his pants, finally freeing his erection from its confines. He watches her wrist bend with the grace of a practiced hand as Rey moves to curl around him, letting her fingers wrap themselves around the base of his shaft.  
  
“It feels different when it’s you...” she murmurs. “It feels so good...” she reassures him, and he groans as he involuntarily bucks into her hand.  
  
While she slowly begins to pump up and down his shaft, he allows his mouth to latch onto her breast again, this time generously kneading and playing with it to better coax her milk onto his tongue.  
  
“Rey...” he moans, muffled by the soft flesh against his lips.  
  
Her body begins to rock in time with her movements as she gradually strokes him faster, and Kylo steadies his grip on the tit he’s holding while the other brushes against his forehead with each flick of her wrist.  
  
A groan rumbles through him as it catches in his throat, and he shifts his legs as he feels his release building within him.  
  
Between half-lidded eyes Kylo looks up at Rey, staring at her head thrown back in pleasure and the way her bottom lip catches between her teeth— the same expression that she often makes when he’s pounding into her cunt.

The thought of it makes him rut into her hand until the only sound he hears is the slick slap of his member against her skin. She pumps harder and faster as he continues to sucks her in return.  
  
He’s panting under her, so desperate to come, and when he doesn’t think he can take it anymore he finally lets her tit drop from his mouth, gritting his teeth as he chases his release.

When he finally peaks his cries of her name are smothered by the way he buries his face between her chest, as thick ropes of white spurt out from the head of his cock onto his stomach.

Rey lazily strokes him through the haze of his release until she’s milked the last of his spend. As she lowers her lips to kiss his forehead, Kylo raises a hand to cup her face and meet her lips with his own, giving her a taste of herself on his tongue.

The high she feels afterward is just as good as if she had come too. Blushing to herself, she silently thanks him through their bond, not just for taking care of her, but for his openness toward exploring something new.  
  
“I should be thanking you,” he murmurs in reply, kissing her one last time before lifting himself off the couch. He wipes himself and takes a moment to re-adjust before offering her his hand.  
  
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”  
  
“Mmm,” she agrees with a nod and stands to join him, with Kylo once again waiting for her to take the lead.   
  
After crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Rey looks over to check on their peacefully sleeping daughter. Then she turns toward Kylo again to utter the three words he will never tire of hearing,

“I love you.”  
  
“I know.” The corners of Kylo’s mouth turn up as he answers her, and he slides the door behind them with a click.


End file.
